If you, like me, been through a great ordeal of constant bullying in your childhood then this might just speak to you. I think it’s safe to say that we all have experienced a degree of bullying in our lives as children., whether it was mental bullying, emotional bullying, physical bullying or a combination of all. They all leave scars behind one way or another. Bullied people usually take two turns.. they either become the bully itself or the become the people-pleaser.
I became a people-pleaser. As a child, I quickly made the decision to just take the blows because I understood that the other kids were simply going through a hurtful process and needed to let it out. Sadly, kids are not taught how to let out their pains/hurts in a healthy way so they tend to project it onto other kids. I figured, if I was that kid that would help them through their healing process, then so be it. At first I saw this as a noble act. It’s only when I grew older and learned that some kids maliciously seek out ‘weaker’ kids to purposely hurt them. It wasn’t venting anymore, it was intent to hurt. When the bullying became physical in high school, I took a stance. Instead of fighting for myself, I started befriending my bullies. I started people-pleasing in the hopes that they would never turn on me. As I developed this, I also quickly removed myself from these groups because I simply could not align to them.
By then I had developed the skill of people-pleasing and made it my second nature. It’s only now that I am learning how to not people-please for the sake of being accepted but to simply people-please once I have pleased myself first.
So with all this I say to all the people-pleasers out there.. the journey isn’t easy.. but the baggage will get a little lighter once you remove the objects in your life that no longer serve you. Everything you put in others, put all that in yourself first. Learn to be your own best friend, your own confidant and your own ‘love’ supplier. Throw a party for yourself. Go all out for yourself. Work your ass off for yourself. Believe in your own vision and go for it as if you’re pleasing someone else.
Love & Light
A Light Being
